Change: A Realization

i am sitting in this coffee shop in a mall, enjoying a cup of latte and a cigarette. i face the front mirror of the cafe, watching people outside passing by (good tactic to hunt for cute faces as well haha, anyway). watching each person pass by the cafe, it came into my attention this couple (yes, a male couple) who entered the door and sat by a table almost near me. stared at them closely while sipping my cup when the other guy almost tripped; but his partner actually got his back and put him back on his feet.
wow. thats so nice. i tried to take my eyes off on what they are doing so not to cause any commotion if ever caught haha. but as i am doing this blog on my laptop, i cant help but oversee what they are doing and overhear what they are talking about.
a guy of almost 30 if i may say and a guy of age 22 or 23. sit on that table. they talk about almost anything they could imagine of; asking one another how their day was, how was everything, almost a sponatneous talk between the two of them actually, not a topic at hand nor an issue being discussed. they are just so happy talking to one another. then the phone of older guy rang; he answered it. i tried to hear whats being talked over the phone (tsismoso haha), but i couldnt. i just saw the face of the other guy turned from a lively face to a grey one. after the phone talk, the air between the two went dead, as if no one would like to speak, no one would like to open-up.
"was that your ex? or one of your so-called friends?" asked the other guy in a low voice.
"no, that was no one." said the other guy. and the air went dead for quite a while.
then the older guy started to explain in a low voice what the phone call was all about. i really dont mind overhearing their conversation, but what caught my attention was when taers started rolling down on the cheeks of the other guy. now, this is something that i shouldnt see and shouldnt interfere with. theres only three people inside the cafe that we are in and it seems like for the two of them, i am not included on the number.
the other guy tried to comfort the other guy, brnging out a handkechief off from his pocket and wiping the falling tears off from his partner. then he held up the other guys chin; i heard him saying "i love you and no one would replace you in my heart no matter what" (thats really heart-warming). then he started to kiss the other guy, in the lips, as if they are the only people inside the room.
after the scene, i looked back on my pc, pretending that i saw nohing but i know that the couple is looking at me now. i lifted my head, and yes; they were looking at me with a smile on their faces...
"bro, pasensya na kung naiistorbo ka namin ha. hope you understand..." are the exact words of apaology that the crying guy told me.
i just smiled and said "ok lang yun. i know what youre going through kasi ganyan din ang nangyari sa akin dati. i understand, no need to explain."
they introduced theirselves and i introuced mine as well. they have been together for the past 4 years now and still, they go strong to survive each day no matter who or what comes their way. quite a chit-chat with some strangers ei, hahaha, but at least thats one step of knowing other people like us.
then i continue what i was doing, and ordered another round of latte. dont have plans of going home yet, when this person entered the doors of the cafe. he sat on the very corner of the cafe, scribbling on his phone, making calls but no one seems to answer his calls. then alas, another guy entered the shop and approached him...
"ang tagal mo, san ka ba galing? bakit ngayon ka lang?" asked the guy who waited.
"sorry, may inasikaso lang ako. by the way, i am *****, nice to meet you." said the guy who just went in. "so, saan tayo pupunta?" he followed up.
"movie? gusto mo manood?" asked the first guy. the other guy just nodded.
they went silent for a while as if communicating through their eyes. then they both leave the cafe door and went on to do their business, whatever that might be.
hahaha. what a day, i told myself.
after three cups of latte and almost 7 cigars, i decided to go home and rest, but just when i thought that my day was about to be over, it wasnt.
i was waiting for a bus to take me to the terminal home, when there was this guy who, is just a few meters away, waited with me.
whew, just when i thought that i have to take a cab, the last trip home came. i rode the bus first then he came next.
i sat somewhere in the middle and he sat just a few seats right in front of me. i plugged in my headset to listen to my mp3 player when i heard him speaking in an almost-crying tone. its still fresh on my memory; the exact words that he actually said over the phone to whoever he was speaking with...
"kala ko ba ok na ang lahat? bakit ngayon nakikipaghiwalay ka? ano pa ba gusto mo gawin ko para lang magpatuloy to?" he said...
i was shocked when i heard what he said. but the shocking part was yet to come.
"mahal na mahal kita. ayaw ko mang gawin ang gusto mo pero ilang ulit ko na ginawa ang dapat kong gawin pero parang ayaw mo na din talaga. i will give up, pero wag mong sabihing hindi kita minahal at pinahalagahan."
he shut his phone, bowed down with his right hand on his eyes and started to cry. the driver didnt even notice what had happened because he was busy driving. so it was only i who saw and heard the entire thing.
again, i pretended that i didnt see the whole thing. but this guy looked back at me, as if communicating with me eye-to-eye. i easily connected to what he would like to happen. i sat on the opposite aisle seat beside him and asked him whats wrong and how i could help.
another break-up case. his bf, well, ex-bf now, broke up with him. the reason was quite shallow, but reasons are reasons, and no matter how shallow the reason is, he must respect it. and he respected the reason though we both knew that its quite shallow.
they have been quite a couple for months when this thing happened betwen them. time constraints, coldness etc etc. but he was trying his best to salvage whats remaining and make it as the foundation to start over again; but it seems hat the other guy easily gave up. i know how much he loves his ex. he wouldnt go that emotional and would dare talk to me if not right?
so we talk and talk, discussed and shared some thoughts as the last bus trip reached my house and his house.
"salamat ha, kahit papaano may napagbuhusan ako ng sama ng loob at may nakausap ng matino." told to me by that guy.
"ok lang yun. try to move on, kahit mahirap man sa ngayon." i said...
then the bus stopped on the terminal and we both got off the bus. i bid goodbye and he bid goodbye.
and so here i am, i walked and walked in this road where everyone seems to be a stranger to each other. other walks with someone, others alone. some trip but others would help them to get up on their feet; some trip and get up on their own, no one even noticing that they are stepping on other people.
in this world of a billion individuals, we tend to meet people of different faces and beliefs; some intend to stay and touch our lives in a million ways; some just passing by and be gone like a dust blown by the wind. some would leave a mark in your heart and soul and; some unintentionally leaving a wound that would take time to heal. but all of these ultimately entails one action that has been constant to each and every individual.
CHANGE
all these years, i have met different people. some had been a part of my life until now, and some have been passerby's. but each and every person that i have met contributed to what i am right now. they actually changed my life in ways i never expected. the cahnges might be small, or might be big and serve as turning points in my life, but i dont care what amount of change they brought into my life. and i thank those people for doing that.
so here i am, a changed guy if you may, still walking the path of a bisexual guy, hoping that someday, someone would walk just right beside me. someone who intend to stay and never let go no matter what happens as we walk the road, leading to an uncertain ending...