Hi...
This is the first blog entry... Well, welcome to my not-so-private world...
In life, there are a lot of paths that a person tends to take. A lot of decisions that one must make in order to move on; to keep on walking and to ultimately reach what he/she wants...
Five years ago; when I was still in college, a major turning point in my life occured.
Society claims that there are only two genders known to the populace. Thats the male, and the female gender. Other than that, is the so-called third sex; yung mga bakla, bisexuals, tomboy blah blah blah...
I fell in love with this guy in campus. Quite incomparable to any typical guys that you will meet and find. Nice, sweet, quite a handsome dude if you might ask. The right guy every girl might dream of having.
I know that its not just a mere feeling of attraction or adoration to someone of the same sex for me. Its just not lust when I see him walking around. Why did I get hurt when I knew that he is already involved in a relationship with a girl? Why do I feel happy when I am with him?
Questions, questions and questions boggled my mind during those times. As if a mental torture which is followed-up by an emotional torture topped with confusion regarding my sexuality.
I asked myself: "Shall I continue what my heart wants? Or shall I think twice and do what would be the right thing to do?"
So there, I did follow my mind. I did the correct thing to do just not to be stupid in the end. I know that nothing would happen if I continue what I feel because theres no way; even in the smallest chance; that he would love me back other than being a friend. I wouldnt expect him to understand my feelings so i just played safe and hid my emotions by myself; jut not to complicate things up. I did what I have to do, and I know I have done it correctly...
But there is more to those questions than the answers that I have found. Its the realization that I have actually changed to a different person. A realization that I have chosen one path in this life that I tend to take; and i know that in this path, theres no turning back. A path which would take a while before i could even reach the middle; a path that could lead to other paths that I would be destined to take.
And so here I am now. Still taking the path that i have chosen to take five years ago. The path that I ahve chosen is not as smooth as you think it is; treacherous, rocky, boulders and boulders of tests keep on rolling each and every time possible. I take the path by myself, no one permanently guiding me through it but my instincts and intuitions. I have my own fate as the foundation of my strength...
The path that i have chosen is not a path that most of the people here would think of taking. Yet, I decided to take my chances and take the rest of the path by myself; or much better, with someone else right beside me...
